15 Fictional Movie Pharmaceutical Drugs and Their Real-Life Alternatives

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Hollywood and drugs go hand in hand, both within movie storylines and in real-life celebrity lifestyles. Here are 15 examples of fictional pharmaceutical drugs featured in movies and the real drugs that might achieve the same effects — in case you’re ever, you know, possessed by the devil or come down with a case of pyrokinesis.

BrainCandy.jpgMovie: Brain Candy

Drug: GLeeMONEX

Purpose: Antidepressant

Side Effect: A coma-like state of euphoria

Safer Alternative: Nortriptyline

 


The Constant Gardner

Movie: The Constant Gardner

Drug: Dypraxa

Purpose: To fight tuberculosis

Side Effect: Death

Safer Alternative: Isoniazid

 


The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Movie: The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Drug: Gambutrol

Purpose: To control epileptic seizures

Side Effect: Makes you immune to exorcisms

Safer Alternative: Keppra

 


Alien Nation

Movie: Alien Nation

Drug: Digitalis

Purpose: Sedative

Side Effect: Enslavement by an alien race

Safer Alternative: Xanax

 


Repo! The Genetic Opera

Movie: Repo! The Genetic Opera

Drug: Zydrate

Purpose: Painkiller, extracted from corpses

Side Effects: Highly addictive, leaves the taste of corpse in your mouth

Safer Alternative: Naproxen

 


Freddy vs. Jason

Movies: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Freddy vs. Jason

Drug: Hypnocil

Purpose: To suppress dreams

Side Effect: An enraged Freddy Krueger

Safer Alternative: Prazosin

 


Jacob's Ladder

Movie: Jacob’s Ladder

Drug: Ladder

Purpose: To increase aggression in soldiers

Side Effects: Hallucinations, indiscriminately killing fellow soldiers

Safer Alternative: Caffeine

 


Equilibrium

Movie: Equilibrium

Drug: Prozium

Purpose: To suppress emotion

Side Effect: Turns you into a humorless prick who doesn’t watch movies or listen to music; on the bright side, you look cool holding a gun

Safer Alternative: Prozac, anger management classes

 


Misery

Movie: Misery

Drug: Novril

Purpose: Painkiller

Side Effect: Sedative effect makes it hard to escape from deranged fans holding you captive

Safer Alternative: Extra-strength Ibuprofen (non-drowsy)

 


Max Payne

Movie: Max Payne

Drug: Valkyr

Purpose: To increase strength and fighting ability

Side Effects: Insanity, acting like Mark Wahlberg

Safer Alternative: Creatine, Jet Li movies

 


Firestarter

Movie: Firestarter

Drug: Dilysergic Triune Acid

Purpose: To create psychic abilities

Side Effect: Subjects who don’t volunteer could get mad at you for dosing them against their will and then set you on fire with their minds

Safer Alternative: Don’t try to create psychic abilities

 


Scanners

Movie: Scanners

Drug: Ephemerol

Purpose: To suppress telepathic powers

Side Effect: May give your children telepathic powers (Oh, cruel irony!)

Safer Alternative: A tin foil hat

 


The Running Man

Movie: The Running Man

Drug: Ortho Pure Procreation Pills

Purpose: To become pregnant

Side Effect: A baby

Safer Alternative: Don’t make us explain

 


Dune

Movie: Dune

Drug: Melange

Purpose: Lengthen life, cause ESP, facilitate space travel

Side Effects: Blue eyes, physical mutations, tedious movies

Safer Alternative: Read the book

 


Children of Men

Movie: Children of Men

Drug: Quietus

Purpose: Peaceful suicide

Side Effects: Death

Safer Alternative: Life

 

 

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